It’s time to learn to go with the flow

Not long ago, I packed my luggage, locked up my apartment, and headed to JFK for a two-month, work-from-anywhere stay in Paris.

That’s the short story. The slightly longer version is that I thought I had all the time in the world that Friday — to workout, get some work done, pack for my time away, and finish readying my apartment for my lovely, soon-to-arrive sublet tenant.

I gave myself 3 hours to accomplish the last two tasks …. THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH TIME.

The word frantic comes to mind as I ran around my apartment, pushed out the arrival time of the car I had booked, and at the end, threw in what I thought I needed and rushed out the door.

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The airport.

Traffic was, well, NYC rush hour traffic, but the driver handled it, and I arrived at JFK with time to spare.

I went to check in for my flight. When it was my turn, I was trying to get my newly acquired lock to work on my second bag and kept looking behind me for people in line waiting for my turn to end.

The check-in agent was the epitome of patience. He didn’t like the look of the lock on my first bag, saw that the one I hoped to secure the second was a no-go, and told me that he was going to find some zip ties.

It took a bit of searching, but he returned with 4 zip ties (2 for my return trip), zipped my bags, and taped over what was, in his opinion, my dodgy-looking lock.

At this point I thought I appeared entirely calm and collected, but apparently this lovely, helpful agent did not agree, because…

Before sending me on my way, he proceeded to do the following.

→ He held up his left hand and asked, “Do we control when we are born?” Uhm - no.

→ Then he held up his right hand and asked, “Do we control when we die?’ Uhm - no.

→ At which point he asked, “So, do we do in between?

→ Then he laid out the palms of his hands and said, “Go with the flow.” And he smiled.

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A theme to live (and work) by.

As I’ve mentioned before, I pay close attention when messages arrive in three’s - hearing the same thing three times, in three slightly different ways, from three different people.

The theme of “flow” kept showing up after my encounter with the check-in agent, so I’ve been paying attention.

Thinking about flow in life and flow in work.

This can be difficult to live by, especially when things aren’t going as we hoped or planned. When we perceive that things aren’t going our way, in work and life writ large.

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The usual response.

When this happens, our tendency can be to grip more tightly, try harder, push to make things happen.

This is my default setting.

But I’ve come to realize that it’s not helpful. In most cases, it causes unnecessary stress, while not producing the desired outcome.

If you’re like me, the default setting needs a reset.

_____

The antidote.

What can we do instead?

This may sound a bit saccharine and cliche, but we need to take our hands off the wheel. We need to trust, and we need to believe in “right timing.”

This was driven home for me when I listened to a recent episode of the “Good Life Project” podcast. Host Jonathan Fields was in conversation with former-sushi-chef-turned-artist Mike Han.

His life as a sushi chef with a planned restaurant opening came to a halt with the pandemic, and so did his income. There was a glitch in his unemployment insurance payments, landing him in a precarious financial position, when an email landed in his inbox from someone offering him an unsolicited commission for his art.

In response to Jonathan Fields’ question about his thoughts on spirituality and the Universe supporting him, Mike Han said:

“I do think that things happen for a reason. And I believe in divinity. And maybe not traditional religion.

But coincidence and timing… I’m finding in my life that everything is happening in the right time, whether I like it or not. And that’s really been special.

And getting to open that [email] seems too conveniently well-timed to be just a coincidence. And to continue to have my needs met in that sort of way, that the struggle was there, but I still had everything I needed. I was still fine.”

_____

I know that I needed to hear this, and I thought that you might too.

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