It’s about confidence (again).
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had several conversations with remarkably smart and talented women business owners about confidence, or rather a lack of it.
con-fi-dence [kon-fi-duhns] - noun
“Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.”
When I interact with these fierce female founders, I see nothing but power and ability and possibility.
And I want them to see the same in themselves.
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A trip back in time.
When I launched my business going ten years ago, I created a blog titled “The Epicurean.” I did this because I like to write about a variety of topics. And also because the root of the word “epicurean” is epicure — “a person who takes particular pleasure in fine food and drink” — which is me.
I migrated a few of these posts to my business website because they felt appropriate and “evergreen.” And with a few minor tweaks in wording and grammar, they were.
One of these posts was titled “It’s About Confidence.”
In it, I told the story of my mother traveling from Canada to Las Vegas to play in a contract bridge tournament.
A lifelong player — women’s group on Monday, mixed bridge (read “couples”) on the weekend, and more — she didn’t start competing until she was in her early 70s, and participating in this tournament for the first time put her way outside of her comfort zone.
She played on three separate days. On the first two, she and her partner did not deliver stellar performances. But on the third day… well the third day, they won their 0-300 Stratified Pair section and came second overall for that group.
My mother's comment to me afterward?
"It was good for my confidence."
(If you’re interested, you can read the full post here.)
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What’s the lesson?
This is an interesting one. And it can be counterintuitive.
Notice when my mother said she gained confidence. It was after she put herself out there — after she committed to a partner for the tournament and booked her ticket and got on the flight and showed up to play to the best of her ability.
Confidence comes after you take action that moves you in the direction you want to go, not before. If you wait until you feel confident before doing something, you’ll be waiting a long time.
It’s about being uncertain of the outcome, but also so committed to your vision that you’re willing to do the scary thing.
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But how?
The phrase “summoning courage” came to mind as a bridge to confidence (pardon the pun:).
And I decided to ask ChatGPT what it thought about the phrase (or rather the answer it would prepare from the myriad data sources from which it compiles its response).
Here is what it shared:
“Summoning courage means gathering the strength and determination to face a difficult or challenging situation, despite feeling afraid or uncertain. It involves mustering the inner strength to take action or make a decision in the face of adversity, even when it feels uncomfortable or risky.
Summoning courage often involves overcoming fear, doubt, and insecurity in order to pursue a goal or objective. It is an important skill that can help individuals overcome obstacles, pursue their dreams, and achieve success in their personal and professional lives.”
I offer this up as a way to get where you want to go and grow your confidence in the process. I hope it helps.