Where are you withholding permission from yourself?
Permission to build a business and life that you truly desire.
Not long ago, I listened to an episode of “The Ezra Klein Show” with his guest, novelist Mohsin Hamid.
Having been quietly blown away by two of Mr. Hamid’s prior novels, The Reluctant Fundamentalist and Exit West, and now intrigued by the premise of his latest, The Last White Man, I was curious to hear what he had to say, to hear his voice talking about his ideas and work (I realize it’s a strange way to put it, and I was about to change this bit, but I realized it’s actually what I meant).
I’ve heard Ezra Klein interview other writers and found him to be a close reader who is observant and insightful. In most cases, he is able to draw out writing (and life) wisdom from his writer guest. In this regard, his conversation with Mohsin Hamid did not disappoint.
Mr. Klein ended the interview with Mohsin Hamid as he does with each guest, by asking him to recommend three books. Mr. Hamid’s first suggestion was Beloved by Toni Morrison, with whom he had the privilege to have studied (Ms. Morrison AND Joyce Carol Oates - swoon).
He shared a few of the lessons he learned from Ms. Morrison about the craft of writing, including what he believes makes Beloved such a powerful novel. But what struck me most was when he said:
“When you have writers of that caliber that make the decision to teach, one thing that they are doing is giving each and every one of their students the permission to imagine that the could be writers… I probably wouldn’t be a novelist today because I wouldn’t have really believed that I could be one.”
Which got me thinking … about permission and who gives it, and do we really need it from others, or, in most cases, is the person we need permission from ourselves?
And I think it’s the latter.
To that end, where might you be withholding permission from yourself?
This can be a tricky question because I don’t believe that we intentionally withhold permission from ourselves.
Rather we are doing what we always do, what we believe to be right, or what’s expected of us. We are traveling well-worn mental pathways, steeped in beliefs that we may not have chosen and may not even be aware are operating in our lives.
With this as the backdrop, it can be difficult to realize that there is even a choice to be made. We are like the fish in David Foster Wallace’s Kenyon College commencement address, “water, what water?”.
To get you thinking about where this blind spot might be operating in your life, I’ve compiled some ideas as a starting point.
Perhaps you need to give yourself permission to:
Take a break from social media
Rest
Travel
Dream bigger
Join a book club (or leave the one you belong to)
Stop running
Start swimming
Say ‘yes’ to something you really want to do but for some reason you don’t thing it’s acceptable or okay
Say ‘no’ to something that, in your heart of hearts, you really don’t want to do but you think you should or it will look back (someone will be offended, take it personally, not be happy)
Leave your partner
Leave your job
Pivot your business
Launch a new business
Close your business
These are “food for thought.”
Perhaps this can be a weekend project. Set aside some time to think about places you feel constricted in your life, where there are no choices to be made.
And gently probe to explore why you feel this way. Check to see if you’ve closed yourself off to options, that upon re-consideration, might very well be available to you.
Permission to be gentle with yourself, granted.
If one of the things you uncover is that you need to give yourself permission to pivot your business and need help with the process, book a Discovery Call so we can begin the process of digging a little deeper.